


Still a Better Love Story Than Twilight (And the angst hurts more)

by Hamiltalian



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: M/M, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-07-14 21:45:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hamiltalian/pseuds/Hamiltalian
Summary: 10.“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”“Quit whining.”“W- What are you doing?”“I shouldn’t be in love with you!"“Don’t yell at me.”“Make me.”“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”“You know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”“Take off your clothes.”“What, does that feel good?”“I hate you!”  “No, you don’t.”“Shit, are you bleeding?”“Quit whining. It’s just a bullet.”“What’s going on here?”“You did WHAT?”“Look at me – just breathe, okay?”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicide mention, rape mention, suicide, kidnapping, stalking

Alexander had been feeling eyes on the back of his head for a few weeks, watching him from a distance. He could never find where the feeling was coming from and he always tried to write it off as his imagination, but it always felt like the same eyes were getting closer. And closer.

“Are you alright, Alexander?” Lafayette asked. He’d noticed that his brother had been acting strangely for a while, at least for a few weeks.

“I just… I keep getting the feeling that someone’s watching me.. I can’t shake it.”

“Oh, I hate that feeling.. Maybe it’s just nothing. I think you might just be worried, but if you find anyone acting suspicious, don’t be afraid to ask me for help.”

“Right..”

Alexander did his best to ignore the feeling everyday, but it only grew closer and closer. He couldn’t even walk himself to school anymore because he felt so paranoid.

“I’m sorry again..”

“Don’t be. If you don’t feel safe, you don’t feel safe.”

“I feel like a wimp..”

“You are not a wimp. Better safe than sorry. You’re my brother, I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” He dropped his brother off at his college class before driving to school. He may have been the younger brother, but he sure didn’t act like it.

Alexander slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way to his economics lecture, that feeling coming back at full force. He was going to be okay.. He was going to be okay… He was going to…

Alexander blacked out.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way..”

He stayed out for a few hours before groaning and beginning to stir, sitting up… Or at least trying to. He tugged his arm, trying to hold it up, but it wouldn’t budge. He opened his eyes and blinked at the bright light before looking down at his wrist, finding it bound to a chain, tied to the floor. “What the hell?.. What the fuck?!”

He heard a door open and a voice call to him.

“What’s going on here?”

“Where the hell am I?!”

“Oh, good. You’re awake.”

He heard footsteps approaching.

“Sorry you were out for so long… I know you’re small, but I forgot to take that into account when I knocked you out..”

He knelt in front of Alexander and held his face, green eyes meeting brown. “I’m so glad to see you again.”

“John?..” Alexander asked himself quietly. His best friend through middle school, who suddenly disappeared in the middle of senior year. Nobody was sure where he went. Most people said he just went back to South Carolina, but Alexander never had been sure of that.

“Yeah, it’s me.” He smiled and nuzzled his face against Alexander’s. “I’ve missed you… I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since I’ve last seen you, college boy. Well, I guess I should say since you’ve last seen me.”

“That.. That was you?..” Alexander muttered.

“Of course it was! I’ve been watching you all this time, making sure nobody hurt you, not my love..” He sighed and pulled away, smiling.

“John… What’s going on here? Why am I here?!”

“Shh… I couldn’t just leave you forever… I brought you here because I love you. I love you so much.. I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Alexander shook his head and tried to move away. “No, this isn’t right, this isn’t how you-”

“W-What are you saying?..” John muttered. “That you don’t love me?.. That all that time with me was just…. Just some phase because you didn’t know any better way to find out that you don’t like guys?!” He stood up and backed away. “Are.. Are you going to say that I shouldn’t be in love with you?! Try to feed me those lies again?! Because… Because when you  love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

“John, calm d-”

“What, does that feel good or something? To.. To lead me on like that and just drop me when you have a girl that can do exactly what I do for you?! People think I’m crazy, that.. That I’m not supposed to love you because you’re straight.. But you know we’re supposed to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.” He knelt down beside Alexander again and cupped his cheek. “You know it, don’t you?.. Don’t you?!”

Alexander flinched a bit. He had no idea what his friend was capable of.

John let him go and frowned, disappointed. “You don’t…” He thought for a few seconds. “I… I have to show you!” He began tugging at Alexander’s shirt, whining as he struggled. “Take off your clothes.”

“W- What are you doing?!”

“Don’t yell at me.. I have to show you how much you mean to me. I love you!”

“John, no!”

“I already did it while you slept, I needed to practice.. Just let me do it again!”

Alexander did his best to keep himself covered, fighting John’s advances. “You did WHAT?!”

“Stop yelling at me!”

“Make me! I don’t want to be here! I want to go home! I hate you!”

“No you don’t! I know you don’t! Now quit whining and let me do this for you!”

Alexander kept fighting him, only stopping for the shortest time when he saw a dark, wet stain in John’s shirt. “Shit, are you bleeding? Get off of me, you’re going to get yourself hurt!”

“Quit whining. It’s just a bullet.” He himself froze after a minute, a look of realization on his face. “A bullet.. That’s how I can really show you how much I love you! I can.. I can show you that I can’t live without you and you’ll have to love me!” He jumped to his feet and ran out of the room.

While he was gone, Alexander continued to struggle against his restraints. When did they get on his legs, too?

John came back with a gun in hand and knelt down beside Alexander, who was now gagged as he thrashed. “I’m going to show you how much I love you. I’m doing this for you.” He pointed the barrel at his own head and pulled the trigger, Alexander screaming.

“Alexander, wake up!” Lafayette shook him awake as fast as he could, only stopping when he sat up and gasped, still screaming. “Alex, it’s okay! It was just a dream!”

He threw himself into his younger brother’s arms and sobbed against his chest, clinging desperately to him.

“Hey, look at me- just breathe, okay?” He looked at Alexander and held his shoulders, grounding him. “You’re okay… You’re safe.” He hugged him close.

“I’m not okay..” he sniffled. “He’s dead… John’s dead and it’s my fault…”

Lafayette frowned. “It is not your fault. You read the note, it’s not your fault…”

He did read John’s suicide note, he was the one who found it, but he couldn’t be convinced. He did his best to make sure that John knew what happened between them wasn’t going to be serious, but they did have sex and he knew that John liked it… He knew that John liked him after everything…

Six months ago, John Laurens committed suicide in his own home and Alexander had been the one to found him, a bullet in his brain and a suicide note on the dresser. He read it over and over again and he read John’s reassurance that it wasn’t his fault, that he loved him, but that it wasn’t the reason he did it, but Alexander wasn’t convinced. He felt awful about what had happened. John was his best friend. And now he was gone.

In his mind, it was all because Alexander was too scared to be different. Too scared to come out of the closet. Too scared to admit that he loved John too.


	2. Chapter 2

You know. It was easier than one believed to fake your own death. That is, assuming that your father is a rich jackass who wanted you dead, but didn’t have the balls to go through with it. The second that Alexander found John’s body laying in his restroom, that was it. He was free. Before the paramedics could get there, John sat up and peeled off most of the fake blood from himself before leaving, climbing out of the window and just walking away. And, like that, John Laurens was dead.

But Anthony Blackmon was very much alive. A high school graduate, who lived off of local theater jobs and whatever work he could get in between. He was a little off, keeping to himself for the most part and having absolutely nothing to say on his love life, but people around him still took a liking to him.

That was all that mattered. As long as they kept him around and didn’t take much of a second glance at him, he was fine.

Every night, though, he turned into someone different. He went as close as he could to his lover’s house on his bike and got the rest of the way there on foot, making his way up to his room and smiling as he laid in bed, laying down behind him and kissing his cheek. He loved him so much… Even if he didn’t love him back.

He shrugged that off and continued holding him. He couldn’t reject him in his sleep.

He always made sure he was awake before him, leaving and going back to his place before continuing his life. There was just one problem…

About a year or so after he left, John came inside and found someone else in Alexander’s bed… A girl… He frowned and watched from the window as they did what he should’ve been doing with him.. Did Alexander replace him?.. He cracked open the window, his presence hidden beneath the lust filling the room. Oh, how he missed Alexander’s sweet voice.. His moans..

“Oh.. John..”

His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. His lover did remember him!

Unfortunately, the girl beneath him wasn’t so happy. “John? That freak you used to date?! He’s dead! Why are you-”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”

John knew better. Alexander still loved him. He didn’t mind if Alexander was screwing other people as long as he only made love with him.. And from the looks of it…

“I’m out of here. This is the third time!”

“Eliza, I’m sorry! I-” He was cut off as she slapped him before gathering her clothes and getting dressed.

“And, by the way, I faked it. Every time. I don’t know how you could pleasure anyone with that shrimp attached to you.”

John saw his vision going red. Nobody insulted his lover like that. And nobody called his perfect, above average six inches anything less than amazing. He crawled through the window and stomped towards her, snapping her neck before she could see him.

Alexander screamed, but John stopped him, wrapping his arms around him and putting his hand over his mouth.

“Shh… It’s okay. It’s just me, love.” He smiled and let him go.

“John?.. No, that’s impossible.. I saw you! You were dead!”

“I faked it! I’m sorry.. I couldn’t live thinking that you didn’t want to love me..”

“John..”

“What?” He looked up at him, hopeful. “You want to run away with me? We can start over! I can show you how to fake your death and-”

“No. No, John.. I told you, I was over you. I don’t love you..”

He frowned and gripped his shoulders a bit tighter. “What?..”

“John.. I like girls..”

“No.. No! You said my name! I heard you!”

“It didn’t mean anything. It was a mistake. Look, if you leave now, I’ll tell the cops that some burglar broke in and hurt Eliza.”

“Alex..” He teared up. “I just want to love you..”

“I don’t want to love you, John.”

He frowned. “I’ll at least make this painless for you..”

“Make what-”

Before he could finish, John moved his hands up and snapped his neck, kissing him one last time before carrying him and putting him on the bed. “If I can’t love you, nobody can.” He kissed his cheek and went to the bathroom, getting a bottle of painkillers and chugging it down with some water before laying down with Alexander and letting death overtake him.

By this point, Alexander just dealt with the nightmare and woke up. It was just another dream at this point. The biggest mistake of his life and he just wasn’t going to let himself live it down, was he?

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone interested in commissioning me for one shots can email me at slashgashotaku@gmail.com for details.


End file.
